acoolranchlunatic:

Community Rewatch
₪ 1.02 Spanish 101 ₪

Pierce: I’m not sterile. In fact, it’s a rare condition called hyper-virility. Apparently, my sperm shoots through the egg like bullets. Can you believe that?
Jeff: I can’t, but you can, so that’s fine.

Spanish 101, 1x02

Señor Chang: Every once in a while, a student will come up to me and ask, “Señor Chang, why do you teach Spanish?” They say it just like that. “Why do YOU teach Spanish?”… “Why you? Why not math? Why not photography? Why not martial arts?” I mean, surely, it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that’s ancient and secret, like, oh, building a wall that you can see from outer space! Well, I’ll tell you why I teach Spanish. It is none of your business, okay? I don’t wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am. Oh hee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! I am a Spanish Genius! In español, my nickname is El Tigre Chino!
[pretends to bite Shirley’s neck]
Señor Chang: ‘Cause my knowledge will bite her face off! … So don’t question Señor Chang or you’ll get bit. Yah bit! Yah bit!

Spanish 101, 1x02